senior thesis
It Will Always Be There
Unraveling
The social structure I described above was relatively stable throughout our first semester. The summer camp atmosphere made it easy for many to give social interactions the highest priority while brushing class assignments to the side and procrastinating until the last minute. However, towards the end of the semester, stress began to get the better of everyone.
RHPers were at the tops of their classes in high school. While they had been warned that college would be different, most were not prepared for the reality of that statement. The difficulty of courses and exams was more than many people had bargained for. Students in the pre-medical track were especially harassed, though everyone felt similar concerns:
“And then if you’re pre-med... [The professors] are all like, ‘the rest of your life matters on this test, blah, blah, blah.’ And they’re pitting you against all your classmates because it’s all curved, and they just treat you horribly. They do it to stress you out.”
With final exams approaching, the reality of college life began to sink in and the summer-camp atmosphere dissipated. Many students turned to Penny for guidance. Her best advice was, “you’ve just got to deal with it.” She believes that “RHP students are notoriously miserable, and our goal is to help them not implode.” However, despite promises of support earlier in the semester, she was less than helpful. For instance, in a moment of fear that she had failed a midterm, one girl called her parents in tears. After they expressed their concerns to Penny, she assured them that she would take care of the problem. Over lunch, she told the unlucky RHPer without sympathy that she should not worry her parents or make them think things were less than okay.
Another example of Penny’s erratic behavior was experienced by two RHPers who were both failing a calculus class. Penny told them (separately) that they did not need to drop the class. If they failed, she could “take care of it” and wipe the failure from their records. Later they found out there was nothing she could do (she conveniently forgot about the freshman forgiveness program). One of them lost his scholarship, and his father asked Penny how he could get more financial aid. Her advice was “you could get fired from your job.” Beyond getting RHPers into USC, Penny did more harm than good among the students. Since we were all under 18, she was our legal guardian. While most people did not consider it a big deal, having such an irresponsible and fickle authority figure only added another element of uncertainty to our lives.
On top of the end-of-semester stress everyone was facing, one RHPer began to show signs of a video game addiction and several became more involved with drugs. Two of the central couples -- Brad and Katrina, and Richard and Caroline -- broke up on the same day. While Richard and Caroline got back together, Brad and Katrina did not.
Worst of all, three RHPers were all accused of plagiarism in the same class. None of them had actually plagiarized. Two of the appeals were accepted. However, despite evidence, the third was failed and placed on academic probation. This turn of events was an extremely difficult blow for the group, especially since the person who had failed represented the stability of the group.
Despite everyone trying to be supportive of each other, “you could feel the whole group just losing all its momentum... ‘It was the best of times, it was the worst of times’ kinda thing. Like when we were a group and we were all on and together, it was just fantastic. And when things kinda fell apart, it was really bad.” Interestingly, “momentum” is the same word someone else used to describe the group’s beginnings. Clearly there was a shared sense of a vitality that infused the group. Penny said that our group had “so much intensity it couldn’t help but go bad.”
The intensity of relationships formed during the semester and the painful
disappointments at its end made winter break a welcome relief. It felt like
the semester had flown by in a flash, and three weeks at home would never
be enough to digest the experiences of the semester. At the end of exams,
people packed their bags and returned to the homes they had escaped for
three months. There was a sense of defeat, yet hope. Most people expected
the group to kick off with its original vigor when spring semester began.