senior thesis
It Will Always Be There
Senior Year
“I kind of see us moving back together. We definitely didn’t pursue the relationships to the same degree sophomore or junior years, or not with all of the people. We created smaller little groups. But the bonding doesn’t necessarily go away and it’ll be easy to feel close to each other again because of that year. And I think everyone I’ve talked about it with will enjoy it, spending more time together, but it just hasn’t been a feasible thing.”
This statement, made in November, sums up our last year of college. In returning to USC for our senior year -- our first senior year -- many RHPers had an acute consciousness that this will be the last year we are geographically close. This consciousness, along with the passage of time, caused past conflicts to be forgiven and a new attitude of group spirit to arise. During the first few months, there were a couple of events that were attempts to bring people together. Caroline had a birthday party at which we ate cake, played cards, and watched nostalgic movies (The Princess Bride and Hackers). A few weeks later, there was a long-distance birthday party for Erin, who was abroad in Australia. Nine or ten of us called her and had a speakerphone conversation over cake and ice cream. It was that evening that the idea to study RHP occurred to me. The sense of family continuity was strong. Nostalgia was running high. It felt like a split had never occurred.
However, attempts to make things similar to the way they were quickly faded in the madness of senior year. RHPers were too entrenched in their post-RHP lives to devote much time to the group. Not for lack of desire, since everyone expressed an interest in seeing each other again, but it was next to impossible to get more than two or three people together at once (though there was another gathering in December to celebrate Richard's birthday). The day-to-day interactions of the group are carried out on a much smaller level now: “there are a lot of twos and threes that are very close, we don’t coordinate the logistics to get everyone together very often” “A lot of people still are keeping in close contact with others in the group, because there’s still that whole [attitude of], ‘you can talk to me, and it’s okay. Whatever it is, we can talk about it and get through it together.’”
Here, another paradox arose. Once I had the initial idea of studying RHP, I began talking to group members about it. Even though people hardly see each other anymore, they still speak of each other as close friends. There is a deep sense of loss for the intensity of the relationships:
“It’s just so hard to look at where we are now and where we were. We’re all just so far apart from each other, almost like strangers in a lot of ways. I feel so sad that everything I feel like started off on such an intense note is just fading into mediocrity. We were such a great group and now we’re just so spread apart and stuff. People have other lives now. And if we didn’t have other lives at this point it would be bad. Because you can only cling to something for so long.”
At the same time, there is also a sense that these relationships still exist. Over the course of my interviews this year, everyone has agreed that there is “still a bond” among RHPers, “on a different kind of level.” “People have other lives now... We’re separate but still connected.” “The group doesn’t need constant contact. We all understand there are other things we need to do.” As with the second semester split, RHPers have a need to believe in this group.
People described the current social structure as “more subtle,” or “a lot simpler, relationships are boiled down to what they really are.” The politics and relationship troubles have melted away. We have matured a lot. With graduation looming, many people have a need to reach into the past for an anchor, to remind themselves that freshman year was not frivolous or worthless or imagined, but an important period of growth and change in their lives. For many people, RHP helped shape who they have become, and it became necessary to reconnect with those roots before heading out into the “real” world.